Once Upon a Crime Read online

  “Hey!” a voice said from below. Sabrina glanced down at her feet and nearly screamed in fright. Looking back at her was a walking, talking gingerbread man no more than three inches high. “Watch where you’re stepping, kid!”

  Sabrina stared at the little baked good in horror. In the past three months she had talked to a lot of things that weren’t supposed to be able to talk back. She was still not used to it and suspected she never would be. Her bellyache returned with a vengeance.

  “What are you looking at?” the gingerbread man said to her. “Didn’t anyone tell you it’s rude to stare?”

  For once, Sabrina fumbled for words.

  “She’s sorry,” Daphne offered. “It’s not every day you get to talk to a cookie, you know.”

  The gingerbread man’s brown body suddenly turned red and his icing face crinkled in anger. “Hey! Cookies are round, buster. Do I look like I’m round?”

  “Sorry,” Daphne said. “I didn’t mean—”

  “That kind of ignorance is why gingerbread people are treated so badly all over the world,” he said bitterly. “Just ‘cause we all came out of the oven doesn’t mean we’re made from the same dough!”

  Daphne ducked behind Sabrina.

  “Relax! She didn’t mean to offend you,” Sabrina said, finally pulling herself together. As she turned to calm her sister, she felt something hard bounce off her head. She whipped around and found the gingerbread man pulling a gumdrop off his chest. There was one already missing—one she was sure was now lodged in her hair.

  “Take that, you bakist!” the little man said.

  “Did you just throw something at me?” Sabrina cried, quickly regaining her wits.

  “Yeah! What are you going to do about it, meat person?” the little baked man taunted.

  “Throw another gumdrop at me and you’ll see what I’ll do, dough boy,” Sabrina hissed. Granny was trying to pull her away when the second gumdrop bounced off of Sabrina’s nose.

  “That’s it!” she cried as she turned to the bartender. “Give me the biggest glass of milk you’ve got!”

  The gingerbread man kicked Sabrina in the ankle. Despite his size, it hurt, and Sabrina reached down to grab him. The little man darted away and ran through the bar.

  “Catch me if you can, stupid meat person!” he cried.

  “Girls, leave him alone,” Granny said.

  “He started it,” Sabrina said, picking the gummy candy out of her hair.

  “Sorry, kid,” Momma said from behind the bar. “He looks sweet but he’s really hard to swallow.”

  The patrons at the bar let out a groan but Momma giggled at her joke like a little girl. “I got a million of them,” she said.

  “We have a sick fairy with us,” Mr. Canis said impatiently. “He needs medical attention, now. Can you help?”

  Momma pointed to the back of the bar. “Take him that way. The guards will let you in to see the boss.”

  “Who’s the boss?” Hamstead said.

  Sabrina glanced to the back of the room where the two guards Momma had referred to were standing. They were enormous.

  “You folks really are from out of town,” Momma said.

  Granny Relda led the family over to the guards, who stood before two double doors. The men were so big they were nearly popping out of their suits. They wore dark sunglasses even though the bar was dimly lit.

  “Yeah?” one of them growled.

  “We need to see the boss,” Granny Relda said.

  “Sorry, lady,” the other man said. “No one sees the boss.”

  “But—” Granny started to explain.

  “Lady, dems da rules. Now push off.”

  “Listen,” Mr. Hamstead said. “We were told to come here.”

  The guards looked at each other and then clenched their fists. “And I’m tellin’ ya to leave,” the first one said as he cracked his knuckles.

  “We have a fairy here that needs medical attention,” Canis growled.

  The guard pulled the blanket away from Puck’s head and then frowned.

  “Absolutely not,” he grunted.

  “What?” Sabrina cried. “Why?”

  “Puck is liosta dubh,” the second snarled.

  “What does that mean?” Daphne asked.

  Sabrina shrugged. She usually knew the words Daphne asked about. She’d never heard liosta dubh before.

  “It means he is unwelcome,” the first guard snapped.

  “If he doesn’t get help he’ll die,” Mr. Canis barked.

  “None of my concern. Now move along, geezer,” the second guard said, giving Canis a rough shove.

  “Pig, take the boy,” the old man said calmly. Hamstead hurried to his side and took Puck in his arms just as the change came over Canis for the second time that day.

  Granny Relda stepped over and rested her calming hand on his shoulder. “Old friend, I’m sure there is another way to—”

  Before the old woman could finish, Mr. Canis’s body had filled out his suit with rock-hard muscle. He towered over the guards now, yet they didn’t seem at all anxious.

  “Listen, grandpa,” the second guard said with a yawn. “Your little changing act don’t impress me none. Move along before things get ugly.”

  Canis backhanded the man, sending him soaring across the tavern and smashing against a mirror that hung behind the bar. Bottles and glasses crashed down on the guard’s head. Suddenly, the music stopped and all eyes turned to Sabrina and her family and friends.

  “Oh, it’s already gotten ugly,” Canis snarled.

  Much to Sabrina’s surprise, the remaining guard went through a disturbing transformation of his own. His body doubled in size and his skin turned a muddy green. He grew pointy ears like a bat and his lower jaw jutted out past his nose. Two gnarled tusks like those on a saber-toothed tiger rose out of his mouth, and his eyes became as red as blood.

  “Goblins!” Hamstead cried.

  The guard held a knotty club, which he swung into Mr. Canis’s chest as if he were trying to hit a home run. The blow was like a tiny annoyance to the old man, and he snatched the weapon away, crushing it into splinters in his furry hand. Then he seized the guard around the neck and lifted him off the ground.

  “The boss will kill you,” the first guard cried from behind the bar as he sprang to his feet. He was already changing into a beast as gruesome as his partner.

  “I’d like to see him try,” Canis said with a wicked laugh. “Do you think he can stand up to the Big Bad Wolf?”

  A chill raced up Sabrina’s back. Mr. Canis was certainly losing control of his alter ego if he was now referring to himself as the Big Bad Wolf.

  “Control yourself, Everafter,” bellowed a voice. Four fairies appeared from nowhere and surrounded the family. They were much more like Puck in appearance than the two fairies Sabrina had seen at the tavern door. Each had porcelain skin and blond hair. They all wore jeans, black boots, leather jackets, and ball caps, and would have looked like normal kids if it weren’t for their pink wings and the crossbows they leveled at Mr. Canis’s head. Each weapon was loaded with a jagged, steel-tipped arrow.

  The leader of the group stepped forward. He had eyes like bright blue diamonds and a head of shaggy hair. His wings fluttered rapidly, as if responding to the tension in the room. He looked no older than Sabrina but had the confidence of a full-grown man.

  “They are trying to get an undesirable in to see the boss,” the second goblin croaked as he struggled to free himself from Canis’s iron grasp.

  “Release the guard,” the fairy said to Mr. Canis.

  Canis put the goblin down and then did something that made Sabrina shudder—he sniffed the creature and licked his lips.

  “I smell your fear, darkling,” he said to the guard. “It’s delicious.”

  Granny set a hand on Mr. Canis’s shoulder. “Old friend,” she said softly, and this time it calmed the old man. He shrank to his familiar form but for a moment he glanced around as if he wasn’t sure wh
ere he was. He looked down at his left hand with a confused expression. It had not changed back with the rest of his body. It was still covered in thick brown fur.

  The fairy leader turned to Mr. Hamstead, who held Puck bundled in his arms. “Let’s see this fairy.”

  Hamstead pulled back the blanket to reveal Puck’s fevered face. The leader blanched, then gingerly took the weak boy into his own arms, cradling him gently.

  “He’s wounded, badly,” Granny Relda said. “We hoped your people might be able to help.”

  “Follow me,” the boy fairy said as his wings vanished.

  “But Mustardseed,” one of the guards cried. “Your father—”

  Mustardseed turned a hard stare on the goblin. “My father will not hear of this, will he?”

  The goblin’s eyes were now alight with fear. “Of course not,” he stammered.

  The boy fairy nodded, turned, and strode through the double doors. The group hurried to follow. He led them down a long, narrow hallway lined with doors. At the far end was a pair marked EMPLOYEES ONLY. The fairy shouldered them aside and gestured for the family to follow.

  They found themselves in a large room with hardwood floors. A roaring fireplace crackled on one side and a large oak desk sat on the other. A few high-backed chairs were scattered about. In one of them sat a woman wearing a leopard-print dress, big, golden hoop earrings, and matching shoes. Sabrina guessed she was in her early forties, and despite her gaudy outfit she seemed very dignified. She had long, brown hair, professionally styled, and the same shocking blue eyes as Mustardseed. A pretty young girl around Sabrina’s age stood behind her, gently combing the woman’s hair. The girl’s eyebrows were arched upward in what appeared to be a permanent look of doubt and suspicion, and she was wearing an odd little pastel dress that seemed to be made out of silks and spiderwebs.

  “Mustardseed, if you are looking for your father, he is not here,” the woman said.

  “Thank the heavens for miracles,” the boy said as he set Puck on the nearest sofa. “Puck has returned.”

  The woman and the young girl cried out in unison, rose to their feet, and rushed to Puck’s side. They knelt down and brushed his matted hair off his sweaty face.

  “Son!” the woman cried.

  Sabrina was stunned. She’d assumed that Puck had a mother—nearly everyone did—but she had pictured her as old and broken, physically and mentally exhausted by Puck’s pranks and immaturity. This woman was young and healthy and seemed to be perfectly sane.

  “Moth, find Cobweb—quickly!” the woman said to the girl. “Tell him to bring his medicines.”

  “But—”

  “Go!” Puck’s mother shouted. Moth cringed and raced from the room as the woman turned her attention back to Mustardseed. “Where did you find your brother?”

  “You’re his brother?” Sabrina said. “But you’re so … clean.” Puck was usually covered in food and whatever he had found in the forest to roll around in. Puck has to be adopted, Sabrina thought to herself.

  “They brought him,” Mustardseed said to his mother, gesturing to the Grimms.

  “What did you do to my boy?” Puck’s mother studied the group for the first time, her face full of suspicion.

  “He was fighting a Jabberwocky and it ripped off his wings,” Sabrina explained, feeling a lump of guilt lodge in her throat. He’d been trying to protect her.

  The woman eyed her coldly. “And where would my son encounter a Jabberwocky?”

  “Ferryport Landing,” Daphne replied. “He lives there with us.”

  The woman scowled. “So, that’s where he went.”

  “Ma’am, my name is Relda Grimm. I’ve been looking after Puck for some time, now. These are my—”

  “Grimm? More troublemakers?” the woman bellowed, cutting Granny Relda off.

  Sabrina sighed. Everywhere the family went they got an angry reception from Everafters. Was this just old hatred of Wilhelm … or had her father, Henry, been meddling in Everafter business? Sabrina’s heart sank. Had her father been secretly doing the detective work he’d left Ferryport Landing to avoid?

  “You must know our father, Henry,” Sabrina said, testing her theory.

  “Your father? No! I’m talking about Veronica Grimm,” Puck’s mother said.

  “Veronica?” the Grimms cried in unison.

  “You know our mom?” Daphne said.

  The woman fell back as if she’d been slapped. “Veronica Grimm had children?”

  At that moment, the little fairy girl known as Moth returned to the room. “Your Majesty, Cobweb is on his way.”

  “Very good. Mustardseed, escort these people to the street,” his mother snapped. “Their presence is no longer required.”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Mr. Hamstead said. “Let’s all calm down. Now we all want what is best for Puck, so—”

  “You can leave on your feet or in a box,” the woman threatened.

  Mr. Canis stepped forward, eyes flashing. He started to open his mouth but was quickly interrupted by an angry voice.

  “If anyone is leaving in a box it will be you!”

  Sabrina spun around and found three large men standing behind her. Their leader was a tall, bearish fairy roughly the same age as Puck’s mother. He had a big, thick face and thinning hair. He was wearing a black pin-striped suit, expensive shoes, and a gold watch. His wings were fluttering furiously. The other two men were the ones Sabrina had seen when she had first entered the Golden Egg, the track-suited bouncer and his bulldog-faced partner. They were carrying violin cases.

  Their leader charged at Puck’s mother, grabbing her roughly by the wrists and shaking her violently. “You’ve pushed me too far, Titania.”

  “Get your hands off me, Oberon!” the woman roared, pulling her hands away.

  “Get this traitor out of here!” Oberon cried, pointing at Puck. His two huge cohorts moved toward the sick boy.

  “He’s hurt,” Mustardseed said as he stepped in their path to protect his brother.

  Oberon turned his anger on his son. “Would you like to join your brother in banishment? Do you want to be liosta dubh, as well?”

  Mustardseed shook his head. Still, he stood his ground.

  “Puck is your son and he’s hurt, Oberon,” Titania pleaded.

  “He’s no son of mine,” the king snarled, standing over Puck’s weak body with clenched fists. “He betrayed me. He turned his back on thousands of years of tradition. In the old lands, the King of Faerie would have had his head on a pike for such disobedience.”

  “What’s a pike?” Daphne whispered to her sister.

  “A long pointy stick,” Sabrina replied quietly.

  Daphne curled her lip.

  “Just like your traditions, the old lands are dead and gone,” Titania said.

  “Bah!” Oberon cried. “Not for long!”

  Just then, a tall, thin man with long, black hair and a dark face entered the room. His eyes were sunken and purple. He carried a black case in one frail hand.

  “You called for me,” he said.

  “Cobweb, I’m afraid you’ve wasted a trip. We won’t be needing any medicine today,” Oberon said, dismissing the fairy with a flick of his hand.

  Sabrina was stunned. Would he really let Puck die?

  “No! Wait!” Titania cried. She pulled her husband aside and her voice suddenly softened. “Let Cobweb heal Puck and I will give you a present.”

  “What could you give me that I would ever want, Titania?”

  “Power, Oberon,” Titania said. “I can give you power over the entire community.”

  “I already control them,” the fairy leader said with a laugh. His goons giggled with him.

  “Perhaps, but you don’t command their respect. I can give you something you’ve always wanted—their support,” Titania argued. “I can give you something that will help you rebuild your precious Faerie kingdom.”

  “And what would that be?” Oberon said.

  Titania gestured to
Sabrina and Daphne. “The children of Veronica Grimm.”

  Oberon looked stunned for a moment, then laughed. “Another one of your lies.”

  Titania grabbed Sabrina roughly by the wrist. “Tell him who your mother was, human.”

  “Veronica Grimm,” Sabrina said, yanking her hand away. “But I think you’ve got the wrong Veronica Grimm. She wasn’t involved in any Everafter nonsense.”

  Oberon’s eyes flashed so brightly Sabrina had to look away. Then he turned to Cobweb. “Heal the boy!” Oberon turned back to his wife. “But when he is well he can go back to whatever rock he has been living under for the last ten years.”

  Mustardseed and Moth looked saddened by Oberon’s declaration, but Titania nodded and thanked him.

  Oberon spoke to the fairy in the tracksuit. “Bobby Screwball, I need the Wizard.”

  Bobby Screwball nodded, reached into his violin case, and took out a long, thin stick with a big silver star on the end. He waved it in circles above his head and with a flick of his wrist a man suddenly appeared from nowhere. He was short and paunchy with thinning hair and a big, bulbous nose. He wore gray trousers, a white shirt, and an emerald-green apron covered in oil and dirt. He seemed completely bewildered, his eyes darting around the room in panic. Then he frowned.

  “Aw geez, Your Majesty,” the man cried in a thick Southern accent. “I was in a staff meeting. An entire group of trainee elves and Santa Clauses just saw me disappear into thin air. They’re probably all freaked out. You may think that forgetful dust grows on trees, but you’re wrong. It’s very expensive and harder and harder to get!”

  “Wizard, I need your particular talents,” Oberon said. “Tonight we’re having a celebration. I want to see every Everafter in town. Tell them I have … a special surprise for them.”

  “You’re kidding me, right? A party? Tonight?” the Wizard cried. “Impossible. I can’t just walk over and have the signal turned on. These things have to be planned.”

  The fairy with the bulldog face stepped over to the Wizard, grabbed him by the shirt collar, and pulled him close. “You’re the Wizard. Nothing is impossible.”