The Fairy-Tale Detectives Read online

  “Where’s Daphne?” she asked.

  “She’s busy with Morgan’s flowers. You know how she bites her palm when she’s excited? I thought she was going to chew her hand off when Mr. Seven asked her to be the flower girl.” Red took out a brush and went to work untangling Sabrina’s blond bird’s nest of hair. “She put me on hair duty.”

  Sabrina forced herself to let the little girl work while she brushed some crusty residue off of her pants.

  “You’re going to be fine,” Red continued. “Of all of us, you’ll be fine.”

  “What makes you think so?” Sabrina said.

  “Because you’re brave. That’s your gift.”

  “My gift?” Sabrina laughed.

  “Yes. Your dad is the one who watches over everyone, your mom is the leader, your sister is the smile-maker, and you—you’re the brave one. You just jump in and fight. Mr. Canis says he’s never seen you run.”

  “Mr. Canis hasn’t been paying attention. Listen, if anything my gift is being the stupid one. I get into a lot of trouble because of my bravery. Every time I turn around someone has to save my butt.”

  “You do your fair share of butt-saving too.” Red giggled. “We all need saving sometimes.”

  “Did Mr. Canis say that, too?” Sabrina asked.

  “No. I say that,” Red said. “Look at Mr. Canis. These days he’s feeling old and useless. He doesn’t feel like he has a purpose, so I’m saving him.”

  “How?”

  “By making him my father.”

  “So maybe that’s your gift,” Sabrina said.

  “How do you suppose?”

  “You can make even the grouchiest person care about another,” Sabrina said. She looked into one of the mirrors and spotted Red’s smile.

  The little girl set down the brush. “I did the best I could. Not as good as Daphne, but . . .”

  “Looking good!” Reggie said when Sabrina studied herself in his reflection.

  Red turned to go, but Sabrina took her hand. “Um, want me to comb your hair?” she asked.

  Red smiled. “I would love that.”

  • • •

  Sabrina slinked into the courtyard, hoping no one would notice her clothes. She found a seat next to Henry and Veronica. Baby Basil was slumbering in his mother’s arms. Veronica studied her son’s beautiful face. The only time the little boy would sit still for her was when he was asleep, and Veronica took full advantage of the time to worship her cherub.

  “You look uh . . . lovely,” Henry said, when Sabrina sat down next to him.

  “Nice try, Dad,” Sabrina replied. She turned in her seat to check out the other guests. Fanny was right. Most were dressed in the best clothes they had, which turned out to be nothing more than T-shirts and sneakers. Nurse Sprat and Snow White had stolen flowers from their chairs and woven them in their hair. Even Charming had a rose pinned to his shirt. Everyone had done the best they could. Sabrina took a flower from her chair and twirled the stem around her ear. It was better than nothing.

  “He’s been trained well, honey,” Veronica said. “Don’t worry about it. We’re all a wreck. The bride is wearing farmer’s overalls.”

  “Has she got any clue?” Henry asked.

  Sabrina grinned. “Not one.”

  Puck dropped clumsily out of the sky into the chair next to her.

  “Where have you been?”

  Puck had a dead skunk in his hand. “Shopping for the happy couple. I didn’t check the registry, but I’m sure they don’t have one of these.”

  “You got them roadkill as a wedding present?” Henry asked.

  Puck seemed confused. “It’s a wedding! Aren’t you supposed to send the couple off with things they’ll need for their home? Which reminds me, when your daughter and I get married, it’s customary in the fairy world for the groom and the father-in-law to challenge each other in a fight to the death. Glad to see I’ll have a worthy contender. It’s very disappointing when the bride’s dad gets killed right away. It can totally kill the mood of a reception.”

  “Has anyone seen Uncle Jake today?” Sabrina asked to change the subject.

  “I don’t think he’s in the mood for a wedding,” Veronica said.

  The Pied Piper and his son stood at the front of the audience with their instruments in hand. They played an up-tempo march and the crowd stood to greet the wedding party. Daphne was the first to appear, and Sabrina’s jaw hit the floor. The little girl was dressed in a beautiful silk dress lined with delicate lace. Her shoes were spotless and her hair was clean and flawless. She strolled to the front of the crowd, sprinkling rose petals behind her, and when she got to the platform she reached into her flower basket and removed the star-tipped fairy godmother wand.

  “Attention, everyone,” Daphne said. “I thought and thought about what kind of gift I could give the happy couple, and I hope you don’t mind, but this is what I came up with.”

  Daphne flicked her wrist and there was a loud POP! The air filled with a purple mist. When it lifted, Sabrina looked down at herself. Her jeans and T-shirt were gone, replaced with a soft pink gown and white shoes. Pearls draped her neck, and her face and hands were scrubbed clean and fresh. Sabrina glanced around the courtyard. Everyone was dressed just as beautifully. Even her father’s four-day beard was gone.

  “Wow!” Puck said.

  Sabrina turned to Puck, hoping for a compliment, but the boy fairy was looking down at himself. He was wearing a smart black tuxedo with a black tie. His hair was shiny and combed. There wasn’t a single fly buzzing around his head, and he had the pleasant aroma of soap about him. “This suit is going to look great when I roll in those deer droppings I found by the front gate.”

  Sabrina sighed and told herself she should have known better.

  “Enjoy the clothes while they last, ’cause at midnight we all go back to being slobs,” Daphne said.

  Everyone laughed and broke into applause as Mr. Seven appeared in a blue tuxedo, top hat, and tails. He thanked everyone for coming. He pointed to Sabrina, thanking her for all her hard work, and also thanked Daphne for the fancy suit but, he insisted, the crowd hadn’t seen anything yet. He pointed to the back of the courtyard and there was Morgan le Fay. Her dress was the color of vanilla cream, and it was embroidered with seed pearls and tiny crystals. The dress’s train spread behind her for several yards and her jet-black hair was woven with little white daisies. She was the most beautiful bride Sabrina had ever seen.

  “She’s breathtaking,” Veronica whispered.

  By her side was her son, Mordred, who through the help of magic or his own effort had a perfectly combed head of hair. He grinned nearly as wide as his mother. He led her to the arches, where he placed his mother’s hands into Seven’s. That was when the Scarecrow approached the couple. He greeted everyone with a broad smile on his burlap face. “Thank you for coming to this most wonderful of events. As the former emperor of Oz, I have the privilege and honor to officiate this ceremony.”

  The Scarecrow invited the crowd to join him in a prayer for the happy couple. Then Seven and Morgan spoke of their brief but intense love and how fate had finally brought them together. Morgan cried as she promised her life to Seven. Mr. Seven did the same, and when the Scarecrow pronounced them man and wife, Morgan planted the biggest kiss on the little man that Sabrina had ever seen.

  Confetti showered down on the newlyweds and music floated over the crowd. There was much cheering and shaking of hands and kissing of the bride.

  “You’re a lucky man,” Gepetto said to the groom.

  “I’m the lucky one,” Morgan cried, swooping the little man into her arms for another kiss.

  And then Charming called for everyone’s attention. He had a glass of champagne in his hand and Sabrina watched as several trays of the bubbly stuff magically floated through the crowd. “Just one more interruption, folks. This morning Mr. Seven came to me and asked me to be the best man at this wedding. For some strange reason he thought a wedding could be pl
anned in one day.”

  Everyone smiled knowingly.

  “He also believed, for some reason, that I enjoy being in front of a crowd.”

  Everyone roared with laughter.

  “Well, let me tell you, this party has been incredibly troublesome. After all, we’re only trying to build a castle, raise an army, and prepare for a war. Mr. Seven and his bride have been a terrible inconvenience.”

  Suddenly, the laughter was gone. Sabrina was incredulous. Charming had a history of being selfish, but was he really going to grouse during a wedding?

  “But that is love, isn’t it?” he continued. “It’s terribly inconvenient. It sweeps you up and steals your attention and slows down your work. Our labors fall behind, our friends report us missing, and everything comes to a screeching halt! Everything, that is, except what truly matters in this life—true love. We’ve all been there. We know the feelings. So when we see it in a friend, a dear, dear friend, we throw down our work and we celebrate. We rejoice. We raise a glass. Because when we recognize it in the hearts of friends, it reminds us of how important it is in our own. Mr. Seven, you are and always have been my companion and friend. You have made me a better man, and almost on a daily basis you have reminded me that I too need to celebrate the love in my life.”

  Everyone turned to Snow. Her face was rosy red and she was grinning wide.

  Charming held up his glass. “So, my friends, in this lovely courtyard, let us raise a glass and celebrate the maddening, all-consuming, time-killing, terribly inconvenient magic called love.”

  The crowd raised their glasses and drank, then burst into rousing applause.

  Together, the crowd cleared the chairs away and there was dancing and singing and food. Where the feast came from, Sabrina could hardly guess, but somehow these runaways and refugees had prepared a spread for a hundred people. In the midst of the party Mr. Hamelin found himself a guitar, and his son, Wendell, blew on his harmonica. Sabrina watched Charming whisper something into Snow’s ear that made her giggle. She paid for the laugh with a kiss. Henry and Veronica waltzed around the courtyard, holding sleeping Basil between them. Even Red dragged Mr. Canis onto the dance floor for a spin.

  Sabrina couldn’t help but get swept up in it all. The dread of the last few months and the threat of tomorrow were pushed into a corner of her mind. As she watched the revelers, it dawned on her that the wedding was more than a party for two people coming together as one, but rather, a celebration of life and its possibilities, even in the midst of madness.

  “I guess we’re supposed to dance,” Puck said, suddenly appearing beside her.

  “Do you know how to dance?”

  Puck rolled his eyes. “I’m royalty. That’s all we ever do.”

  He took her by the hand and taught her an elaborate dance that seemed to be part waltz, part square dance. It was more theatrical than what she thought of as dancing, and it drew way more attention than she wanted, but soon the entire gathering was mimicking their every step. She pushed her embarrassment aside and surrendered to the fun of it. She couldn’t even be mad at Puck for not noticing her dress.

  As the night marched onward, the crowd began to thin. People drifted off to their cabins and crawled into bed. The new Mr. and Mrs. Seven thanked everyone profusely until they were practically pushed into their honeymoon suite— the only finished and furnished room in the castle. Veronica carried Basil and Henry carried Daphne, both asleep, back to their beds.

  Soon the only people left were Gepetto, Pinocchio, Puck, and Sabrina. Sabrina was too excited from the night’s events to go to bed, so she offered to clean up the mess, and the other three joined her—even Pinocchio, though he did do quite a bit of grumbling. As they stacked chairs and picked up trash, Sabrina could still hear the music in her ears, beckoning her to spin in circles. Gepetto decided to leave the flowers where they were as a reminder to everyone of the happy time they had shared, then said good night, promising his son that tomorrow would be another busy day. Pinocchio groaned as he followed his father back to their cabin.

  And then Sabrina was enveloped in a glowing light. When it was gone, she looked down and saw that her beautiful dress was no more. She was back to being filthy. Her hair was a mess and she smelled. Puck’s fancy suit was gone as well.

  “It must be midnight,” Sabrina said.

  “Thank goodness,” Puck said. “I don’t enjoy the feeling of being clean.”

  Sabrina rolled her eyes but didn’t move. Instead, she looked up at the moon hanging over the yard.

  “So . . . ,” Puck said.

  “So . . .”

  “Nice party,” he said. “It reminded me of Sven the Soul Eater’s thirteenth wedding. Or was that the fourteenth? It’s hard to say. He kept eating his wives. Still, I did think it was strange there wasn’t a forest fire. I’ve never been to a wedding that didn’t have some kind of uncontrollable devastation.”

  Sabrina wished he would just stop talking. He was going to ruin the night with some snarky insult. She just knew it!

  “By the way, when I said ‘wow,’ I was looking at you,” Puck said.

  Sabrina’s face lit up in a grin. Who was this boy? He could drive her crazy with his pranks and taunts, but then, when she least expected, he could be the sweetest and most thoughtful person in the world. He was maddening and impossible to understand, but at that moment he was awfully cute. And she thought she might like to kiss him but couldn’t decide. The moment was all too perfect. Asking for more would be pressing her luck, but then again . . .

  “Um . . . kind of late, isn’t it?” her father said, appearing from the shadows.

  “DAD!” Sabrina cried. She could have died from embarrassment.

  Puck rolled his eyes. “All right, smell you later,” he said. He was in the air instantly, flying off to wherever he slept.

  “Get to bed, ’Brina,” Henry said as she turned back toward his cabin. “We’re going to put an end to this war tomorrow.”

  Sabrina slipped into her room and found Daphne big-eyed and frantic.

  “Have you seen it?” she asked.

  “Seen what?”

  “The Book of Everafter. It’s been stolen!”

  he morning came all too soon. Sabrina woke her sister and they dressed sleepily. They agreed it was best to keep the missing book a secret. They were pretty sure it had to be somewhere in the castle or its grounds and it would be easier to find it themselves than start an uproar that would lead to a lot of questions about what the book was used for. They divided up the camp so that each of them would have a different section, then stepped out into the bright sunshine.

  Before they took a single step, Snow White was marching toward them.

  “Are you ready for your training?”

  “Huh?”

  “Billy thinks it might be wise, in light of the prophecy, that you learn to fight. He also thinks it might be good for everyone to see the two of you out here at the crack of dawn preparing for war. Who better to train you than me? Remember the self-defense class I taught at the community center?”

  Sabrina shrugged and turned to her sister, who was still barely awake.

  Daphne grumbled. “Without breakfast?”

  “We can eat during our first break,” Snow said.

  “First break implies that there will be more than one, which also implies there will be time between the breaks when we are not breaking,” Sabrina said.

  “Don’t be lazy, girls,” Snow said as she handed each girl a long black pole, nearly four feet in length. They were polished and smooth and heavy.

  “What’s this?”

  “It’s called a bo-staff and it’s very useful in a fight,” Snow said.

  “It weighs a ton,” Sabrina said, trying to swing it over her head only to drop it on the ground. “And it’s clumsy.”

  “That’s because your muscles are weak. When you grow stronger, your ability to use it will grow too,” Snow said. “Trust me, when I started learning martial arts I had the up
per-body strength of a tadpole, but now . . .”

  Snow spun the staff at an incredible speed, twirling it around her head like the blades on a helicopter. She passed it from hand to hand, still spinning, then swung it around her back, along her arms as she ducked into a crouch. She stopped her last swing with the staff only inches from Sabrina’s nose. “I think that’s what your sister would call very punk rock.”

  “My catchphrases are trademarked, Ms. White,” Daphne said with a giggle.

  “You’re going to teach us to do that?” Sabrina asked.

  “I am.”

  “How is this going to help me stop a madman who is made out of magic?” Sabrina said. “Listen, Ms. White, I appreciate the help, but you’ve already taught my sister and me plenty of self-defense stuff. I don’t need to know how to scare someone off with a big stick.”

  “I’m not here to teach you to scare someone with a big stick,” Snow said, stepping forward. “I’m going to teach you how to hit someone with it. Welcome to the Bad Apples.”

  That afternoon was the most painful in Sabrina’s memory. Though Snow took it easy on her, the staff still slapped against her shoulders, knees, shins, and fingers. It was also heavy and hard to hold, so after a few hours her shoulders were burning like hamburgers on a grill. But what hurt most was how each strike her pole blocked sent a jarring vibration into her hands and up her arms, stopping at her neck. When one attack came, it hurt so much the staff fell out of her hands and bounced on the ground.

  As she bent down to retrieve her weapon, she saw that she had an audience. Nearly everyone within the walls of the castle had slipped into the courtyard to watch. Some were smiling at her, almost beaming with pride. Others were merely curious and watched without expression. Pinocchio was smirking at her, but this didn’t bother her as much as her mother’s and father’s anxious expressions. She tried to push their worry out of her mind and focus on her training. If she learned anything that day, it was that Snow knew when you weren’t paying attention, and she made you pay for it.