The Problem Child Read online

  “Now I know your father never told you anything about me. I love my mom, but we rarely agree on anything,” Uncle Jake said with a laugh. “Listen, your grandmother’s right. These people who took your parents are dangerous, but we still have to face them to get Henry and Veronica home. I think we should do it together. I figure that way we can get both of them home a lot faster.”

  Faster was what Sabrina wanted. She nodded and Uncle Jake leaped off the couch. “Good, let’s get started. But first we need a little magic.” He led her into the kitchen and flipped on the light, then searched through every cabinet until he finally found what he wanted—a can of coffee. “Ah, liquid magic,” he said with a grin.

  Sabrina’s mom and dad were coffee fanatics. They drank it morning, noon, and night. She’d seen her mother wait in hourlong lines and pay more than five bucks for a cup of foam she called a latte. When her father was late for work, he drank a mug of coffee in the shower. Sabrina had once asked for a sip but her dad had refused. “It’s not good for a kid,” he’d said, as he swallowed a big gulp. “It’ll stunt your growth.”

  Uncle Jake found some coffee filters in a drawer and an ancient instruction manual for the coffee maker. In no time, the smell of fresh roast was filling the room and his magical elixir was dripping into the pot. When the coffee was finished, he poured out two mugs worth and handed one to Sabrina.

  She took a sip. It was bitter and gross and tasted a lot like mud. She spit it out into the sink, turned on the faucet, and stuck her mouth under the cool water to wash out the taste.

  “When you get older, you’ll love it,” her uncle said.

  “If this is what I have to look forward to when I’m older, I think I’ll stay eleven.”

  “You know, I wanted to apologize about the other night,” Uncle Jake said. “But you kids wouldn’t give me a chance to explain who I was.”

  “We generally don’t give the benefit of the doubt to weirdos hanging around in burnt-out buildings,” Sabrina said.

  “Takes one to know one.” Uncle Jake laughed. He opened the sugar bowl and spooned three heaping helpings into Sabrina’s mug. “This will kill the bitterness.”

  Sabrina stirred the concoction and took another sip. It was better. She nodded at her uncle and he smiled. He led her into the dining room and they both sat down. Sabrina set Red Riding Hood’s medical file on the table and her uncle opened it.

  “I looked through this earlier but I didn’t understand much of it. There’s a lot of medical mumbo jumbo in here. But I have discovered one thing,” Uncle Jake said.

  “What’s that?”

  “Little Red Riding Hood is a certifiable loony tune.”

  Sabrina frowned. “I could have told you that.”

  Uncle Jake grinned. “I also found this,” he said, passing her a yellowing sheet with typing on it. “The little girl’s history.”

  Little Red Riding Hood’s medical history read much like her famous fairy-tale story. She was sent into the woods by her mother to take her old grandmother some food. Along the way she met a horrible beast she described as a wolf. When she got to the house she saw what she thought was her grandmother sitting in bed. Her grandmother had actually been killed and eaten by the wolf. The beast had put on her grandmother’s clothing to fool the child. Just before the wolf could kill Little Red Riding Hood as well, the child discovered the disguise and ran into the woods. There she found a woodcutter who hunted the wolf, cut him open, and shoved rocks into his belly. Then this woodcutter tossed the wolf’s body into the river where it sank to the bottom. The man took the girl back to the village in hopes of returning her to her family, but her parents were never found. It was her doctors’ belief that Red Riding Hood’s mind was severely distressed by the events, causing her to have a break with reality. The doctors had had no success reaching her and medications were equally unsuccessful.

  “The Big Bad Wolf made her crazy,” Sabrina said. She thought of Mr. Canis. The old man hadn’t been capable of such brutality, but his alter ego, the Wolf, was pure evil. For a moment, Sabrina felt sorry for Red Riding Hood.

  “That’s what her doctors thought, too, but you don’t need a medical degree to figure that out. All you have to do is look at these.”

  He handed her a stack of papers. Sabrina flipped through them. The first few were finger paintings of a family. There was a mother and a father holding a baby, a kitten, a grandmother, and a ferocious-looking dog. As Sabrina flipped through them she found that the colors the girl used were less and less varied. The paintings got darker and darker until eventually they were entirely black and red. Looking at them made Sabrina queasy.

  “That’s her family,” Uncle Jake said. “There’s dozens more.”

  “She’s a little obsessed,” Sabrina muttered.

  “No, she’s a lot obsessed. She’s never gotten over her loss.”

  “But it happened hundreds of years ago. Her grandmother is dead. Her mom and dad disappeared.”

  “Not in her mind,” Uncle Jake said. “I think she’s collecting a new family to replace the one she lost.”

  Sabrina felt her blood stop running in her veins. “She’s got Mom and Dad and when I confronted her she said something about having a baby brother.”

  “Exactly,” Uncle Jake said, pointing to the mother, father, and baby in the drawings.

  “She said something else,” Sabrina went on. “She said, ‘Tell grandma and the puppy I’ll see them soon. Then we can all play house.’”

  “She needs them, too. And who do we know around here who is a grandma with a dog?’

  Sabrina nearly cried out. Granny Relda!

  Uncle Jake took the paintings and put them back into the file. “It doesn’t tell us where Red Riding Hood may have gone, but at least we know where she’s headed. We’re all going to have to be prepared to defend your grandmother if that girl and her freaky pet show up.”

  “I don’t know what kind of help I’m going to be,” Sabrina said as she gestured to her broken arm.

  “Oh, I’ll fix that,” Uncle Jake said rushing into the living room and returning with his overcoat. He sat back down and started rifling through its pockets.

  “Where did I put it?” he mumbled to himself. He took a bottle out of his coat. Apparently it wasn’t what he was looking for and he tossed it aside. Sabrina peered down at it. The label said, EVIL EYE DROPS. A small tube labeled CURSE-B-GONE and then a tub of cream called WITCH HAZEL REPELLENT were also rejected.

  “Here it is,” Uncle Jake said, finally pulling out a small round tin and handing it to Sabrina. She glanced at the label. SATIN SURGEON’S SALVE—NOW WITH A LEMONY-FRESH SCENT!

  “What’s Satin Surgeon’s Salve?” Sabrina asked as she popped the lid off. Inside was an icky black ointment that smelled like backed-up sewage. It made her gag.

  “You’ve never heard of this stuff?” Uncle Jake said as if exasperated. “I can’t believe Henry didn’t even teach you the basics. Andrew Lang wrote about this in The Olive Fairy Book. The story is about a princess who saved the life of the man she loved. The rumor is she got the salve from Cupid himself.”

  “What’s in this stuff?” Sabrina said as she pinched her nose.

  “You don’t want to know.” Uncle Jake took the tin and dipped his fingers into the rancid glop, which he rubbed over Sabrina’s hand. The vile stuff felt as bad as it smelled. Her head started spinning and an odd sensation ran up and down her arm, as if someone had poured an icy-cold glass of water into her cast. After a few seconds, the tingling stopped. Unfortunately the smell remained.

  “Feel better?” Uncle Jake said.

  Sabrina wasn’t sure. The constant pain in her arm was gone. She tried to move her fingers and found they wiggled easily. Uncle Jake rushed into the kitchen, opened a drawer, and rummaged through it, then ran back to Sabrina. In his hand was a pair of heavy kitchen scissors.

  “The proof is in the pudding,” he said and he started cutting her plaster cast off. He removed it and tossed it
to the floor.

  “Give that arm a try.”

  Sabrina turned her arm slowly. She quickly realized she could move it in any direction she wanted. It felt fine. In fact, it felt better than it ever had. “It worked!” she cried.

  “Of course it worked. It’s magic. I just can’t understand why my mother wouldn’t have done this for you already. Mirror’s got rooms of this stuff. Haven’t you and your sister come across the pharmacy in the Hall of Wonders, yet?”

  “I’m not allowed in the Hall of Wonders.” Sabrina sighed.

  “You’re kidding.”

  “No, I’m not. I was swiping Granny’s keys and making copies without her permission. I’ve been banned.”

  “Wait! You don’t have your own set of keys?” Uncle Jake exclaimed. “How do you and Daphne learn about all the stuff inside?”

  “We don’t. Granny says we’re not ready.”

  “Not ready! You’re practically over the hill! C’mon.” Uncle Jake grabbed her arm with one hand and his overcoat with the other and rushed up the steps. Once they got to the landing, they stopped at the door to Mirror’s room, which Granny Relda always kept locked. Uncle Jake searched his pockets and quickly found a set of keys as large and impressive as the old woman’s.

  “I don’t know about this,” Sabrina whispered as he unlocked the door. “She really doesn’t want me in there. When she found out what I had done, she went ballistic.”

  “Yeah, she does that a lot,” Uncle Jake said as he opened the door. The two stepped inside and closed the door behind them.

  Just then, a blinding bolt of lightning struck inches from their feet, leaving a black smoldering spot on the hardwood floor.

  “Who dares invade my sanctuary?” a horrible voice bellowed. Sabrina jumped back. A menacing face appeared in the mirror hanging on the opposite wall. It was filled with anger and power and a thunderstorm raged behind it.

  “That was a little close, don’t you think?” Sabrina complained, walking right up to the mirror.

  “Starfish? I’m so sorry,” the face said, softening. “I thought I was being attacked by a pirate. Hang on for a second.”

  The face vanished and when it came back it was wearing a pair of glasses with smart tortoiseshell frames.

  “Oh, I am being attacked by a pirate,” Mirror said, eyeing the girl’s black-marker goatee and mustache closely. “Would it be safe to say that Puck had something to do with this particular accessory?”

  Sabrina nodded.

  “He’s just delightful, isn’t he?” Mirror replied sarcastically.

  “Mirror?” Jake said.

  Mirror turned and focused his eyes on Uncle Jake. A huge grin appeared on his face. “Well, look what the cat dragged in!” he cried.

  Jake rushed forward and did something most people would find impossible—he stepped into the reflection and vanished. Sabrina wasn’t surprised in the least, though. After all, the mirror was more than just a reflective surface. It was also a doorway, and she followed her uncle through it.

  On the other side was an enormous, barrel-vaulted hallway that reminded her of Grand Central Station in New York City. The ceiling was held up by massive marble columns. Rows and rows of arched doorways lined both walls. Each led to different rooms, all packed with magical and otherworldly items. Granny called it “the world’s largest walk-in closet.” The man known as Mirror called it “the Hall of Wonders” and it was where he lived.

  Jake hugged the little man tightly, causing him to drop a small book he was carrying. “It’s good to see you, Mirror.”

  “It’s good to be seen,” Mirror said as he squirmed to break from the younger man’s embrace.

  “You’re looking great,” Uncle Jake said, finally releasing him.

  “Well, I do what I can. I drink a lot of water, and of course my Pilates instructor has really helped.”

  Sabrina leaned down and picked up the man’s book. It was a paperback collection of word games like crosswords and jumbles.

  “What’s this?” she asked.

  “Oh, Relda picked it up for me at the supermarket. She said she thought it might help pass the time. I could just kill her. I’m addicted to it now. Next time you see her, tell her to get me some more of them,” Mirror said, turning his attention back to Uncle Jake. “What’s with the family reunion, Jakey?”

  “Jabberwocky stuff,” the younger man said, gravely.

  “Yes, I heard it was back,” Mirror said, turning to Sabrina. “That thing has been running loose for far too long. Unfortunately, there’s nothing in any of these rooms that can stop it.”

  “Oh, I knew that.” Uncle Jake sniffed. “No, the reason we’re here is I’ve got a niece in desperate need of a little experience with magic stuff.”

  “I smell trouble,” Mirror warned.

  “I think that’s the salve,” Sabrina replied. The noxious medicine was still making her feel nauseated.

  “Mirror! Don’t worry,” Uncle Jake said flashing his quirky grin. He handed the little man his huge set of keys. “Let’s start with some hats.”

  “As you wish,” Mirror replied. He turned and led them down the hallway.

  Lining the walls were doors of all shapes and sizes. Some were made of metal, others wood, and one looked as if it was made of ice. Each door had a little bronze plaque that told what was behind it. POISONED SPINNING WHEELS, TREE SPRITES, CRYSTAL BALLS, LOVE POTIONS, ALL THE KING’S HORSES (right next to ALL THE KING’S MEN). The doors went on and on down a hallway that seemed to go on forever. Sabrina wondered if anyone had ever walked to the end or even if there was an end.

  “Relda will not be pleased,” Mirror commented, as he escorted them down the hall.

  “Mom is just being stubborn. The girls need to know what’s in these rooms. Dad made sure that Hank and I knew how to use this stuff and it got us out of a lot of close calls.”

  “It also got you into a lot of close calls, as I remember it,” Mirror said.

  Uncle Jake ignored the comment and turned to Sabrina.

  “Your dad and I spent hours in here every day, learning how the wands worked, testing out the magic shoes, learning how to fight with the swords and armor, and learning to use the translation spells so we could speak with birds, fish, and forest animals. These rooms are filled with useful stuff.”

  Mirror stopped at a door with a plaque that read HATS, HELMETS, BEANIES, ETC. He found the key for the lock and opened the door. He stepped inside and soon returned with a metal helmet that had small antlers mounted on each side.

  “Good choice,” Uncle Jake said. “The Midas Crown.”

  “What does it do?” Sabrina asked, as her uncle placed it on her head.

  “It makes you strong. Try to pick me up,” Uncle Jake said.

  “But you’re three times my size.”

  “Try it!”

  Sabrina reached over and grabbed her uncle by the shirt and lifted with all her strength. It was more than she needed. Uncle Jake went flying into the air and plummeted back into Sabrina’s arms. His landing was awkward but he wasn’t hurt.

  “Oh, man am I going to have fun with this!” Sabrina cried as she felt the power of the helmet course through her limbs.

  “Sabrina, wait for me in the hall,” a voice said behind them. Sabrina turned and saw Granny Relda. The old woman’s face was red with anger. Daphne stood next to her with sleepy eyes and a confused expression.

  “Busted,” Uncle Jake whispered.

  “I want everyone out of here right this instant,” Granny Relda demanded, fixing her eyes on Sabrina, showing the girl how disappointed she was.

  “Hey! Your arm is healed,” Daphne said.

  “I suppose you used magic,” Granny said.

  “It was silly to have her in pain,” Uncle Jake said. “Why wait three months when it could be perfectly fine today?”

  “And what is the cost of that, Jacob?”

  “I don’t understand the question.”

  “There is a cost with magic. There
is always a cost.”

  “There’s no cost. Her arm is healed,” Uncle Jake said defensively. “The magic asked for nothing in return.”

  “The magic most certainly asked for something. It asked for experience. Sabrina broke her arm doing something I told her not to do. The healing is her experience in learning about the consequences of the choices she makes. Sure, it is easier to wave a wand or rub some magic medicine over our injuries. It’s always easier. But what do we learn? How will Sabrina know her limitations?”

  “Mom, you talk as if Sabrina and Daphne were normal little girls,” Jake replied. “But they are not. They are Grimms and their lives are going to be difficult. Let the rest of the children learn about limitations. They don’t have a Jabberwocky and a certifiable nutcase like Red Riding Hood chasing their family. The girls have to learn to fight. If they knew how to use some of the stuff you have locked up in here, Sabrina might not have gotten hurt in the first place. They need to be trained like Hank and I were. Dad had us exploring these rooms when we were five years old and—”

  “Your father was wrong,” Granny Relda said. “The girls will explore the mirror’s rooms when I say they are ready. Until then, the best lesson I can teach them is that magic always has a price!”

  “That’s ridiculous!” her son complained.

  “Is it Jake? Is it still so hard to see after everything that has happened? Your father is dead because . . .” Granny Relda stopped in mid sentence and there was a long silence between the two.

  “You don’t have to tell me why Dad is dead,” Uncle Jake said. “I’m the one who killed him.”

  “Jake, I didn’t mean . . .”

  But Uncle Jake didn’t let her finish. He turned, walked back down the hallway, and disappeared through the portal.

  abrina and Daphne followed their grandmother into their bedroom. She said nothing, only pointed at the bed. It spoke volumes, and the girls crawled in.

  “Did Uncle Jake really kill Grandpa?” Daphne asked, but the old woman just shook her head. Sabrina wasn’t sure if her grandmother was saying no to the question or just didn’t want to talk about it.