Tales From the Hood Page 6

  “We tried to warn you,” Daphne said as she picked up a travel guide to Camelot and put it back on a shelf.

  “We tried to warn you,” Puck mocked as he scratched furiously. “Oh, I can smell the books on my skin!”

  Though Puck refused, Sabrina and Daphne decided to help the Scarecrow with the mess he made. After an hour they were regretting their decision.

  “Books are heavy,” Daphne grumbled as she reshelved a series of increasingly thick novels about a boy who went to a school for wizards.

  “I know. Can’t they write these things smaller?” Sabrina said.

  “Excuse me,” a voice said from behind them. Sabrina hadn’t heard anyone approach and nearly screamed when she turned around. Standing before her was the strangest-looking man she had ever seen. He wore an expensive-looking white suit and his fingers were adorned with silver and ruby rings. On his wrist was a diamond-studded watch and in his ears were small silver hoop earrings. But what really made him stand out was his hair. His long curly beard and bushy eyebrows were an unnatural shade of blue.

  “Do you work here?” he asked.

  Sabrina shook her head, speechless.

  “No, we’re just helping out the librarian,” Daphne said. The little girl stammered a bit, obviously disturbed by the man as well.

  The man with the blue hair frowned and looked about. “That fool will be no help. I don’t suppose you can point me to the law books?”

  Sabrina shrugged. “Sorry.”

  “I’ll find them myself,” the man huffed and walked farther into the library.

  Sabrina looked after him. There was something troubling about this stranger. She felt as if there was evil rather than blood pumping through his veins. His hair and glaring eyes seemed inhuman, like he was the devil made flesh.

  “Do you know who that was? That’s Bluebeard,” Puck said as he pulled the girls behind a shelf. “He’s got to be the most villainous Everafter in this town.”

  “I thought you were the most villainous Everafter in this town,” Sabrina said.

  “Besides me,” Puck said as he peered around the corner. “He’s a recluse. I hear he has a mansion up on Mount Taurus, but no one has seen him in years. I heard Charming told him to stay out of town. I guess now that there’s a new mayor, he’s doing what he wants.”

  “So what? Who’s Bluebeard?” Sabrina asked impatiently.

  Puck wrapped his hand around her mouth. “Shhhh!” he whispered, then turned back to watch the man. “Bluebeard is famous for being married almost fifty times, and each of his wives had a nasty habit of losing her head.”

  “You mean he drove them crazy?” Daphne asked.

  “No, I mean he chopped their heads off with an ax, duh!” Puck snapped.

  “Gross!” Daphne said, peering around the corner to get a better look at the man.

  “That’s only half of it,” Puck said. “He stored his wives’ bodies in a secret room in his home. He used the room to test his new wives. He forbade them from entering it and if curiosity got the best of them, he added them to his collection.”

  “If he’s so evil, why are we standing here watching him?” Sabrina said.

  “’Cause I’m trying to get up the courage to go over and ask him for an autograph,” Puck said.

  Sabrina watched Bluebeard study a shelf holding several leather-bound books. He took a few large volumes off the shelf and put them on a nearby table. When he had a big pile, he sat and started flipping through them and taking notes.

  “What do you think he’s doing here?” Daphne asked.

  No one knew, and it was clear that they shouldn’t stick around to find out. The man made Sabrina nervous. Even from across the library she could feel the darkness inside him. It felt hot and angry.

  Unfortunately, before they could leave, they were stopped in their tracks by a familiar face. Snow White had several books in her hands and she set them down at an empty table near where Bluebeard was studying. Snow White was stunning, with creamy white skin, coal-black hair, and twinkling blue eyes. Her beauty was so profound it seemed unnatural, as if she didn’t belong to the human race.

  “Should we say hi?” Daphne whispered.

  Snow White had been a good family friend, but none of the Grimms had heard a peep from her in more than a month. She was very angry with Granny Relda, so angry that their friendship was in ruins. Granny had let Snow’s former fiancé, Prince Charming, sleep on the family couch when everyone thought he was missing and maybe dead. Snow, heartbroken with fear and worry, felt betrayed when she discovered he was safe and sound and hiding in her best friend’s home. Sabrina couldn’t blame Ms. White. Charming should have told her where he was, but he claimed Snow’s life was in danger. He wanted to save her without her knowing it, but his plan blew up in everyone’s face when Snow dropped by unexpectedly and discovered him alive and well.

  Unfortunately, the beauty’s arrival at the library was noticed by Bluebeard as well. Snow White’s presence tore his attention away from his books; he seemed hypnotized by her. He studied her the way an art collector looks at a rare painting. His gaze didn’t fall on her so much as it seemed to reach out for her, coaxing her to come closer. Sabrina was reminded of a film she had seen in school about spiders catching flies in their webs then eating them from the inside out.

  “Snow White?” Bluebeard said, standing up from his table.

  Snow turned to face him, her ever-present smile lighting up the room. When she saw him her grin faded. “Oh, hello, Mr. Bluebeard.”

  “Snow, I haven’t seen you in years. You’re looking wonderful,” Bluebeard said as his eyes darted over her body.

  “Thank you,” the teacher muttered. Sabrina could tell Ms. White was nervous. The beauty dropped one of the books she was holding. Bluebeard swooped down and retrieved it, but he didn’t hand it back, ignoring Snow’s outstretched hand.

  “It’s such a small town, but I never run into you like this,” Bluebeard continued.

  “Well, I keep quite busy.”

  “Oh, it’s good to be busy. Keeps the mind from wandering,” the man said. “You know what they say, ‘idle hands are the devil’s playground.’”

  Sabrina watched Snow force a smile onto her face and nod.

  “We really don’t get to see enough of each other,” Bluebeard continued. “Perhaps I can persuade you to accompany me to dinner. I’d love to ‘catch up,’ as they say.”

  Ms. White squirmed. “I’m afraid I’m very busy.”

  Bluebeard’s eyes flashed with anger. “You’re saying ‘no’ to me?”

  Snow stood up, knocking her books to the ground, but Bluebeard shoved her back into her chair.

  “I’m trying to be nice, Ms. White,” he hissed.

  “We have to stop this,” Daphne declared.

  “What do you want to do?” Sabrina asked.

  Daphne was about to march up to them and interrupt when Puck grabbed her by the back of the collar. He murmured, “Listen, this isn’t a guy you play around with. If you go over there and get into his business, he’ll turn his anger on you.”

  “She needs our help,” Daphne said.

  Sabrina glanced around, looking for something that might distract Bluebeard. All she saw were books, and rows and rows of shelves. They couldn’t exactly start tossing books at a man who cut people’s heads off. Then she spotted the Scarecrow. He was at the top of a bookcase, halfway across the room, and as before, the case was teetering back and forth. Sabrina got an idea.

  “Help me push this bookcase over,” Sabrina said. She pushed on the frame and it leaned a little. With Daphne and Puck helping it was soon rocking back and forth, but with all the books weighing it down, the bookcase seemed like it might fall back and collapse on them.

  “I think we need a little something extra,” Sabrina said to Puck. The boy grinned, spun around on his heels, and, in a flash, he morphed into a bull with long, white horns. He huffed and stomped his feet.

  “We should get out of his way
,” Sabrina said, pulling her sister aside. With a bellow and a grunt, Puck ran forward, head first, knocking the bookcase hard. It toppled over, crashing into another bookcase right next to it and causing that one to fall over, too. That bookcase fell onto the bookcase beside it, starting a chain reaction throughout the library like dominoes. Books and magazines flew into the air, as did the Scarecrow, who was buried beneath them.

  “Oops,” Sabrina said, as she, Puck, and Daphne dashed toward the doors. Snow was right in front of them, hurrying to the parking lot. Once outside, they found Ms. White leaning against her car and breathing hard. She was obviously unnerved by her encounter with Bluebeard and was doing her best to calm herself.

  “Are you OK, Ms. White?” Daphne asked.

  “Daphne?” Snow replied. “Yes, I just ran into . . . well . . .”

  “We know,” Sabrina said. “Bluebeard.”

  “Yes,” Snow said. “He’s always had a thing for me but I . . . wait a minute, are the three of you responsible for all that chaos?”

  Puck nodded and bowed. “At your service.”

  “Why haven’t you returned any of Granny Relda’s calls?” Daphne asked. “She wants to apologize.”

  “Daphne, when you grow up you’ll find that being an adult is complicated. It’s not as easy as picking up the phone and saying ‘hi.’”

  “First of all, I am grown up,” Daphne said. “Second, you don’t understand. Granny feels terrible about what happened. Mr. Charming begged us to keep it a secret. He said he was doing it for your own good.”

  “How is pretending to be dead supposed to be for my own good?” Snow asked.

  Sabrina and Daphne shared a knowing glance. “I wish we could tell you but he’s sworn us to secrecy,” Sabrina said.

  “See, that’s the problem,” Ms. White said. “Everyone is keeping secrets from me and they tell me that it’s for my own good.”

  “We’re trying to protect you,” Daphne said.

  Snow White groaned. “Everyone wants to protect Snow White. Well, I’m not a little girl, Daphne. I was fighting my own battles before Billy Charming came along.”

  There was a long, uncomfortable silence until Snow spoke again. “The three of you should get home. Relda is probably worried sick about you.”

  Then she turned, got into her car, and drove away.

  Uncle Jake was thrilled with the information they had gathered at the library. But when Daphne offered to write the letter to Goldilocks, Jake shook his head. He claimed he had made a call to some old friends and they were sending something that would work a lot better than a stamp and an envelope. In fact, he promised their search would soon be over. When the girls and Puck headed off to bed, Jake was still staring at Goldilocks through the mirror. She was in a boat riding on a canal. A man with a long pole steered her along as she glanced up at the moon.

  The next morning Sabrina woke to loud shouting and pounding. She rubbed her eyes and looked around, not surprised to find that Daphne was still sound asleep. She climbed out of bed, slipped on a robe she had hanging from her bedpost, and stomped down the stairs. By the front door, poking his head out of the umbrella stand, she found a creature that looked like it was part dwarf, part crocodile. He gestured to the door.

  “There’s a man out there,” the creature hissed. “He could be dangerous.” He held a walkie-talkie to his face and cried, “Where’s my backup?”

  Sabrina looked through the window and saw Robin Hood pounding on the door.

  “That’s Robin Hood. We know him,” Sabrina explained.

  “Cancel that backup, people!” the creature shouted into his walkie-talkie. “We are back to code yellow. All clear. I repeat, we are at code yellow.” Then he sunk his head back into the stand and disappeared.

  Sabrina quickly straightened her hair, tightened her bathrobe, and checked herself in the hall mirror. She could just die, letting the handsome lawyer see her in her goofy pajamas and with a serious case of bed head, but she seemed to be the only one awake and he kept shouting that there was an emergency. Finally, when she realized nothing would make her look better short of a shower, she opened the door.

  “You’re not dressed! Kid, you’ve got to get dressed,” the lawyer exclaimed as he barged through the open doorway. “Where is everyone?”

  Sabrina was horrified to be called a kid. “In bed. It’s not even eight in the morning,” she said, awkwardly pushing her hair behind her ear.

  “Well wake them up! We have to get over to the courthouse, now,” Robin cried. “The trial is starting today!”

  “What trial?”

  “The trial of the Big Bad Wolf,” he said.

  ittle John sent over a demand for a trial last night,” Robin Hood said as he hurried the family up the steps of the Ferryport Landing Municipal Courthouse. “To be honest, after our little run-in with Nottingham yesterday I never guessed they would grant us one. Then my partner, Will Scarlet, was filing a class-action suit and noticed the grand jury’s schedule posted on the wall.”

  “Why wouldn’t we be informed of the trial ahead of time?” Granny Relda asked.

  “Because Heart and Nottingham are trying to catch us off guard,” Little John bellowed as they met him at the top of the stairs. “If they can present their case without a defense then the trial could be over within minutes.”

  “So they’re pulling a fast one,” Uncle Jake said.

  “Absolutely,” Robin replied, “but they’ve forgotten how fast I can be. We’ll put a stop to this.”

  “Do you have anything prepared?” Granny asked.

  The lawyers shook their heads. “No, but there’s nothing to worry about,” Little John said. “After we ask the judge for a postponement, we’ll have plenty of time to prepare.”

  Sabrina watched Daphne take out her dictionary. “Daphne, postponement means that they want more time before the trial begins.”

  Daphne scowled and put her dictionary away. “I don’t need your help.”

  Robin and Little John hurried the group through the front doors, up a flight of marble stairs, and into the courtroom. Sabrina was startled to find that the room was packed with Everafters. Goblins, witches, fairy godmothers, winkies, munchkinlanders, talking animals, and countless more were all excitedly discussing the trial. There were few empty seats left.

  Past the audience gallery, Sabrina noticed the jury box—two rows of seats set apart on the far side of the room. Each row contained six people for a total of twelve, and each juror was more bizarre than the last. The Cheshire Cat was one of them, as was Glinda the (not-so) Good Witch. There was also an enormous snail smoking a hookah pipe, a talking sheep, a young man dressed entirely in blue, and, much to Sabrina’s horror, an enormous egg with arms, legs, and a face. The top of its body was cracked but whatever was inside was still intact. Sabrina recognized most of them from around town or from one of the many books the family had on Everafters. Only one was a mystery to her. He wore a black hood that kept his face in shadow.

  At the front of the room was a wooden chair on a raised platform. Next to it was a much taller podium where a short, oddly shaped man with a tremendous head was sitting. He had an unruly mane of white hair stuffed under a big black top hat and a nose so incredibly large Sabrina suspected Lilliputians could live in his nostrils. He wore a long, black robe and held a carpenter’s hammer in his hand. Sabrina guessed he was the judge.

  Watching over the crowd were three card soldiers. Sabrina had run into their kind before. Their limbs and heads were human but their bodies were huge playing cards. They acted as Mayor Heart’s personal guards. The Three of Clubs seemed to be guarding the judge, while the Five of Diamonds and the Seven of Spades watched the doorway.

  There was heavy pounding on the door and the guards opened it. Several more card soldiers filed in, pulling the heavy chains attached to Mr. Canis. They forced him into a seat behind a big desk, then ran the chains through an iron ring fastened to the floor. Canis looked tired, but he grew angry when he spotte
d the family.

  “What are you doing here?” he growled.

  “We came to help, of course,” Granny Relda said.

  “I don’t want your help!”

  “Order!” the judge demanded, pounding on his desk with the hammer. Sabrina had seen judges use gavels on TV, but never real hammers. With each pound of the tool, splinters from the desk shot into the air. “Order! What is this commotion in my courtroom?”

  Robin Hood and Little John rushed to the judge’s bench and bowed respectfully. “Your honor, we apologize to the court for our tardiness. We’re counselors for Mr. Canis.”

  “Do you think you can show up for court whenever you want to, counselors?” the judge roared. “I should have the two of you thrown out of here on your ears.”

  The outburst caused quite a bit of excited chatter, which enraged the judge even further. He slammed his hammer down again and again. “Order. I’ll have order in this courtroom,” he bellowed. “I want a toasted sesame bagel with low-fat scallion cream cheese. You folks can order whatever you want, but get separate checks.”

  Robin Hood and Little John looked puzzled. “Your honor, we would like to ask for a postponement,” Robin Hood said as the family took whatever seats they could find. “We only just learned our client was being tried a half an hour ago.”

  “Your client wasn’t tried a half an hour ago. He is being tried right now,” the judge said matter-of-factly.

  “No, your honor, I mean we learned about the trial a half an hour ago.”

  “What trial a half an hour ago? I think the two of you should be concerned with the trial that is going on right now!”

  Little John looked as if he might climb up on the podium and strangle the judge, but Robin gestured for him to calm down. “Your honor. As I was saying, we wish to postpone this case until we’ve have had time to speak with our client about his defense, as well as to interview the prosecution’s witnesses.”

  The judge’s face turned beet-red and he slammed his hammer down, angrily. “Overruled!”