Tales From the Hood Read online

  “Robin Hood!” the girls cried. Sabrina glanced at her sister, waiting for the little girl to squeal with happiness, but Daphne caught her looking.

  “No big deal, huh?” Sabrina asked.

  Daphne shook her head, though it was obvious she was struggling to hold in her excitement.

  One of the sword-fighting men leaped from the desk, thrust his sword in a sheath, and rushed to take Granny’s hand. He was a tall, handsome man wearing a dark green pin-striped suit and sporting a red goatee and moustache. His wavy hair hung to his shoulders, framing a broad smile and bushy eyebrows that gave him a mischievous appearance. He looked like the men Sabrina had seen on the covers of romance novels.

  He kissed Granny on the hand. “Welcome. I’m Robin Hood, and these miserable louts are my merry men. We’re the Sherwood Group, and we’ve been suing the rich and giving to the poor since 1987.”

  obin Hood and his burly companion led the family down a hallway and into an office lined with floor-to-ceiling windows offering an amazing panorama of the Hudson River. The sun was creeping over the mountains and its rays painted the waves a glittery gold. A tiny sailboat drifted by and a few hungry seagulls hovered over the water searching for breakfast.

  Robin Hood’s office was tastefully decorated with framed law degrees and shelves of thick legal books. The only things that seemed out of place were a bow strung with a heavy cord, hanging from a shelf above the door, and a quiver of arrows leaning in the corner.

  “Mrs. Grimm, please come in,” the man said, helping the family into the leather chairs in front of a huge oak desk. The pig-snouted creature scouted the room, peeking into a potted plant and beneath a leather sofa, before it crossed its arms and stationed itself by the door.

  “I apologize for the commotion when you came in,” Robin said. “You can take the men out of the forest but you can’t take the forest out of the men. Allow me to introduce my associate, Little John.”

  “Happy to meet you,” the man roared. Sabrina reached out to shake his hand but he swatted her on the back in what he must have thought was a friendly pat. It nearly knocked Sabrina out of her chair.

  “Mr. Hood, these are my granddaughters, Sabrina and Daphne.”

  “Please call me Robin,” he said as he bent over and kissed each girl on the hand. Sabrina nearly fainted. He was so handsome and kind. Her hands got sweaty and her heart started to race. She realized she was staring at him, and worse, she couldn’t seem to stop.

  “I’ve heard quite a bit about the famous sisters Grimm,” he continued, patting Sabrina on the head like she was a beagle, then turning to shake Granny’s hand. “How can I help you, Mrs. Grimm?”

  “Robin, I need a lawyer,” Granny Relda said.

  “Then you’ve come to the right place. My staff and I are all first-rate lawyers, though admittedly we got our degrees online. I hope that won’t be a problem. Ferryport Landing doesn’t have a law school, or a college, or even a high school, really.” Robin took a seat and put his feet up on the desk, revealing the leather boots he wore instead of loafers. “So, were you injured on the job? A victim of malpractice? Bought some toys with too much lead paint?”

  “Actually, I have a friend who has been arrested,” Granny said.

  Robin and Little John shared a worried look. “The Wolf,” Robin said unsteadily as he sat up straight in his chair.

  “We prefer to call him Mr. Canis,” the old woman replied. “He was arrested a month ago and there are still no charges filed against him. The sheriff is also preventing us from visiting him.”

  Little John stepped forward. “That’s unfortunate, Mrs. Grimm, but I’m not sure we can help. We’re not criminal defense lawyers.”

  “He’s right. We’re litigators,” Robin added. “We sue companies that spill chemicals into rivers or make products that break, and we help people get settlements when they slip on the sidewalk. We’ve never argued a case in criminal court.”

  “You must have some training,” Granny said. “The only two criminal defense lawyers who lived in Ferryport Landing were human, and as you know the mayor has run most of us out of town. We’re desperate.”

  Robin Hood got up from his desk and gazed out the window at the river. Little John joined him and the two men talked in low voices for several moments. They seemed to be having an argument, but eventually the men nodded and shook hands. When they were finished, Robin and Little John turned back to the family.

  “It would be impossible to reason with Nottingham,” Robin said. “He hates me even more than he hates you and your family.”

  “Hiring us will make your problems a million times worse,” Little John replied.

  Sabrina looked over at her grandmother. The old woman’s hopeful expression began to fade.

  “Plus, if I help you, Mayor Heart will shut this office down by sunset,” Robin said.

  Granny sighed with defeat and stood up. Sabrina and Daphne did the same. “I understand. We won’t waste any more of your time.”

  Suddenly, Robin Hood leaped in front of them. “I didn’t say we wouldn’t do it!”

  “You’ll take the case?” the old woman cried.

  “We wouldn’t pass this up for the world,” Little John bellowed.

  “It’s been a long time since I’ve been a thorn in Nottingham’s side,” Robin added with relish.

  “I’ll get Friar Tuck started on the paperwork,” said Little John.

  “Good thinking, my large friend.” Robin turned to the family.

  “As for us, we have an appointment with my favorite sheriff!”

  Fifteen minutes later, Sabrina, Daphne, Granny Relda, Robin Hood, and Little John were pushing open the doors of the police station. The ugly little bodyguard, who Sabrina had learned was a miniature orc named Barto, followed behind, darting into alleyways, blocking traffic, and rushing about, fully prepared to leap into combat to protect the group. Sabrina found him painfully annoying but Granny refused to send him home.

  The police station was a mess. Boxes of files were scattered about. Many had been tipped over, rummaged through, and abandoned. There were big maps of the town on the walls, some covered in scribbled writing, and the front desk was stained with coffee-cup rings and cigarette burns.

  Robin approached the counter and rang a tarnished brass bell. The chime was answered by an enraged growl from a back room.

  “WHAT NOW?” a voice shouted.

  “There he is,” Robin said as his face broke into a mischievous smile.

  “As pleasant as ever,” Little John added.

  A door flew open, rattling the full-length mirror on the wall behind it. Nottingham barreled into the room like an angry bull. When he spotted the Grimms he snarled, but when he saw Robin and Little John, he reared back on his heels in shock. He examined the group the way a hyena eyes its prey. Sabrina had seen this expression before. He’d had it the night he tried to kill Daphne. It made the purple scar that started at the tip of Nottingham’s eye and ended at the corner of his mouth seem to pulsate.

  “You!” Nottingham roared as he pointed an angry finger at the lawyers.

  “Us,” Robin replied. It was obvious to Sabrina that the sheriff and Robin Hood had shared a long, bumpy history and that their friend in the green suit had gotten the better of it. She made a mental note to read up on Robin Hood’s adventures when she got a chance.

  “Interesting outfit you’ve got there, Nottingham,” Robin continued.

  The sheriff was wearing leather pants, and boots that reached his knees. His shirt was black and billowy, with silver buttons carved in the shape of human skulls. He had a long, swishy cape tied at his neck and a sheathed dagger strapped to his waist.

  “Is this what they mean when they call something old school?” Little John continued. “You do realize this isn’t the fifteenth century?”

  “There’s nothing old-fashioned about this,” Nottingham said, brandishing his dagger.

  “Oh, Nottingham, you do enjoy the drama,” Robin said. “W
e didn’t come here to fight you. We came to see our client.”

  “Client? What client?”

  “Mr. Canis.”

  Suddenly, Sheriff Nottingham’s rage disappeared and he roared with laughter. “So the mongrel has a lawyer now? Hilarious!”

  “I’m glad you’re amused,” Robin said. “I find what is passing as the rule of law in this town just as funny. You arrested Canis four weeks ago and have yet to charge him with a crime. If you aren’t going to charge him you must set him free—that’s the law in Ferryport Landing.”

  “I AM THE LAW!” Nottingham shouted. “I’ll do what I want with that monster. He’s a murderer and he’ll hang if I have anything to say about it.”

  “I remember a time when you used to say the same thing about me,” Robin replied. “As for Canis—a murderer? Who was the victim?”

  Nottingham chuckled. “Don’t tell me you haven’t heard the story? It goes a little something like this: A child wearing a red hood journeyed to visit her poor, sick grandmother. A monster came along and ate the grandmother. No one lived happily ever after.”

  “That happened six hundred years ago!” Granny exclaimed.

  “Justice has no time limit,” the sheriff replied.

  “Well, if justice is what you’re after, then there must be a trial. I need to meet with Canis and prepare his defense,” Robin said.

  “Dear me, perhaps I am ill. I hear you speak but your words are nonsense. You don’t give a rabid dog a trial—you put him to sleep before he can hurt anyone else.”

  “You’re going to kill him?” Sabrina cried.

  Daphne burst into tears. Sabrina did her best to comfort her sister, but she was too shocked to speak more.

  “Oh, here come the waterworks,” the sheriff said, his face full of mocking concern. He bent over and took Daphne’s chin in his gloved hand. “Don’t cry, little one. Save your tears. You’ll need them sooner than you think.”

  Little John grabbed Nottingham’s arm and jerked him away from the little girl. He took the Sheriff’s hand in his own and squeezed and squeezed until Sabrina thought she heard bones snap. Nottingham yanked his hand away.

  “Never let it be said that I don’t have a kind heart,” he growled, caressing his mangled hand. “I’ll let you all see your precious pet one last time before he goes off to doggie heaven.”

  He led the group down a long hallway. Puddles had collected on the floor and a dark green mold was creeping up the walls. At the end of the hallway was an iron door with an enormous lock. Nottingham inserted a key and pushed the heavy door open, and a creak echoed off the walls. Inside, the large room was split into four separate jail cells, two on either side of a walkway down the center. A lone fluorescent light hanging from the ceiling blinked on and off, fighting a losing battle with the room’s hungry shadows.

  “You’ve got visitors, mutt,” Nottingham said, running his curved dagger along the bars of one of the cells. The highpitched screech it made pierced Sabrina’s eardrums. “Have your talk and make it quick.”

  Sabrina peered into the darkness. In the far corner a hulking figure huddled against the wall. His limbs were bound to enormous chains. Sabrina felt a familiar tingle, one she felt only in the presence of magic, and guessed the chains were enchanted. A normal chain could never hold a creature with the strength of the Big Bad Wolf.

  As she stepped closer, an odor drifted into her nose: a combination of filth, sweat, and something less identifiable, something wild. It reminded Sabrina of the time her mother had taken the girls to the Bronx Zoo. While they watched the lions in their pit, a zookeeper tossed in slabs of raw meat for the animals. The lions fought over the scraps, roaring and threatening with their heavy claws. A smell rose up from the pit that afternoon that frightened Sabrina. It was the smell of something savage.

  Granny approached the cell, seemingly unfazed. She pressed her hands against the bars and stared into the shadows. “Old friend,” she said softly.

  There was a rustling in the dark and then a deep voice broke the silence.

  “Go away, Relda.” The voice was tired and rough.

  “We’ve come to help you,” Daphne said as she joined her grandmother at the bars. “We hired lawyers. We’re going to get you out of here.”

  Nottingham laughed. He sounded like a hungry rat excited over a piece of cheese.

  Robin and Little John joined Granny and Daphne at the bars. Robin took a small recording device out of his suit pocket and turned it on. “Mr. Canis, I’m Robin Hood of the Sherwood Group and this is my partner, Little John. Our firm is working to release you. I’m sure we can clear this up soon. In the meantime, you’ve been arrested for murder, and it would be in your best interest to tell me everything you remember about the crime.”

  “You’re wasting your time,” Canis said. “I have no memory of the event. I rarely know what the Wolf does. I only know it was something horrible.”

  “You don’t remember anything about it? Then how do you know you did it?” Robin asked.

  Canis shook his head. “I just do.”

  Robin and Little John shared a worried look. Sabrina couldn’t believe she heard surrender in the old man’s voice.

  Robin shook his head. “Mr. Canis, I don’t think you understand, we—”

  Canis leapt to his feet and let out a horrible roar. It was only then that Sabrina realized how much the old man had changed. When he rose to his full height, he was nearly eight feet tall and thickly muscled. His arms were long, and his ugly, taloned hands dragged on the ground. His ears, pointy and sprouting hair, had migrated to the top of his head. His nose was a slippery snout with glistening fangs hanging below, and his shock of white hair was now brown flecked with black. Sabrina’s mind reeled. This couldn’t be Mr. Canis. How could he have changed so much in four weeks? She was sure this had to be a twisted joke, some kind of terrible prank cooked up by Nottingham for his own amusement. But then she saw the undeniable proof that this creature was her old friend. The beast was wearing a black eye patch on his left eye. It covered a wound that Nottingham had inflicted not long ago. She knew the truth. Canis was losing his battle with the vicious Wolf inside him. Out of instinct, she leaped forward and pulled her sister and grandmother to safety.

  “Sabrina!” Granny cried, bewildered. There was disappointment and anger in her voice. “You have nothing to fear from Mr. Canis.”

  “Do not scold her, Relda,” Mr. Canis said. “She might be the only one in your family who sees me for what I am. You’d be wise to pay more attention to her.”

  Granny shook her head, denying his words.

  “What have you done to him?” Daphne demanded, racing at the sheriff with fists clenched. It took all of Sabrina’s strength to hold her back.

  “Get control over your brats, Mrs. Grimm, or they’ll be enjoying the cell next to your friend,” Nottingham said.

  “Girls, attacking the sheriff won’t help Mr. Canis,” Granny said, pulling Sabrina and Daphne to her side.

  “Nothing can help me,” Canis grunted. “Relda, take the girls and leave. I don’t need your lawyers or your help. I’m right where I should be. A cage is where I belong.”

  “Old friend—”

  Canis shook his head. “Your old friend is gone.”

  “That can’t be true.”

  “Not yet . . . but soon,” Canis said wearily. “Fighting the Wolf’s control over this body is a constant battle, one I am losing. When the war is over, it is best if I am under lock and key.”

  “That’s not going to happen,” Daphne said as she pulled away from Granny and approached the cell. She reached through the bars and took Canis’s hand in her own, caressing it gently. His was big and strong with nails like railroad spikes. A memory flashed in Sabrina’s brain—once, not so long ago, the Wolf had been unleashed and had snatched Sabrina around the neck. He had promised to eat her. The memory made Sabrina shiver down to her toes.

  Sheriff Nottingham ran his dagger against the cell bars again. “T
ime’s up!” he shouted. “Get out of my jail.”

  Little John turned to Mr. Canis. “Don’t worry. We’ll be back.”

  Canis crawled back into the shadows, into the corner of his cell. “Do not waste your time on me, Relda,” he whispered as they left.

  That afternoon Robin Hood called to update Granny Relda. As he had predicted, Mayor Heart and Sheriff Nottingham came to the offices of the Sherwood Group with an order to seize the property and premises of the business. The merry partners were tossed out into the street. Robin and Little John were forced to continue their work from an empty table at Sacred Grounds, a coffee shop run by Uncle Jake’s girlfriend, Briar Rose. Much to everyone’s surprise, Robin and Little John were thrilled.

  “He said he and Little John have never been happier,” Granny Relda explained when she hung up the phone. “They’re Nottingham’s biggest annoyance again. I don’t know if Briar’s coffee shop sells beer but they both sounded rip-roaring drunk.”

  “Being merry as often as those guys are can’t be good for their livers,” Uncle Jake said.

  Unfortunately, Robin’s newfound joy came with some very bad news. He and Little John were running into one roadblock after another. The Ferryport Landing justice system had collapsed since the days when Mayor Charming ran the town. Since Nottingham had become the sheriff, there had been few arrests other than Mr. Canis’s. Not a single official document had been filed regarding any crime, and it seemed as if the sheriff and the mayor were making up laws as they went along. No one ever got a trial, so there were no judges to ensure justice.

  Worse still, there was nothing the family could do to help. When Granny offered, Robin informed her that the best thing they could do was to stay by the phone and wait for the lawyers to call with an update. So everyone tried to find ways to keep themselves busy. Uncle Jake searched the magic mirror for Goldilocks. Granny busied herself making earthworm crepes. Puck lay on the couch trying to break his personal record for most farts in an hour. Sabrina and Daphne turned their attention to the family’s enormous book collection to research everything they could find on the Big Bad Wolf.