Magic and Other Misdemeanors Read online

  “Sabrina, is that what I think it is?” Daphne shouted over the monster’s wail.

  And then the creature fell from the sky and landed in their path. It crouched down, almost like a cat, and sniffed the air around them. Its breath smelled of fumes and sulfur.

  “Yes. It’s a dragon,” Sabrina whispered.

  The creature roared once more and a blast of blisteringly hot air danced across Sabrina’s skin. Luckily the beast was too far away to burn them.

  “Heads up, kiddies!” said a voice from above. Sabrina looked to the sky, sure that the voice belonged to their only hope—Puck. But it wasn’t Puck. Instead, it was the strange fairy they had encountered in the woods. He fell out of the sky like a missile and planted his feet on top of the dragon’s snout. The impact forced the beast’s chin into the pavement, stunning it for a few moments. Then it reared back and belched a ball of flame at the fairy. The winged man was quick in the air, darting back and forth with amazing speed and agility, and the deadly missile never reached its target. But the dragon was not discouraged. It let loose a dozen more blasts at the flying man, edging closer to him with each attempt. Luckily, the fairy steered the monster away from Sabrina and Daphne.

  “You have to come with us,” said a voice from behind them. The girls spun around to find the blond warrior woman. She had her sword drawn, while her sister, the dark-haired woman, was holding a wand that glowed with green energy.

  “We’re not going anywhere with you,” Sabrina said, stepping in front of her sister. She clenched her fists and snarled, preparing for a fight if the older women wanted one. She set her feet the way Ms. White had taught her, but before she could even take a swing, the fairy snatched her and Daphne off the ground and hoisted them onto his shoulders like they were a couple of sacks of potatoes.

  “There’s no time to explain,” the fair-haired woman said. “We have to get to safety. If they find you out here, they will kill you.”

  “Who?” Daphne cried. “Who will kill us?”

  “The Scarlet Hand.”

  Sabrina and Daphne shouted a million questions, but every one was ignored. Instead, the dark-haired woman reached into one of the many pockets on her jacket and took out what appeared to be a tiny blue marble. With her other hand she snatched Sabrina by the arm. The blond woman grabbed Sabrina by the other arm and then latched onto Daphne.

  “Don’t forget about me,” the fairy said as he planted a kiss on the blond woman and put an arm around her waist. A moment later Sabrina felt energy swirl around her body. It seemed to invade her pores, rush through her bloodstream, and dance on the edges of her mind. She looked over at her sister to find that Daphne’s hair was standing on end, and she had to assume her own was doing the same. There was a bright flash of light, like someone was snapping a picture, and then Sabrina felt a far more peculiar sensation. It wasn’t uncomfortable or painful, but it felt as if her body was being folded neatly into halves, then folded again, and again, and again, until she was a tiny fragment of herself—so small she was invisible—and then she was folded once more and vanished from existence.

  When the lights came on, Sabrina found herself lying on a pile of rags in a filthy room. Scattered about were musty books, old furniture, and boxes of odd trinkets. She scanned the room, puzzled by its familiarity. She had been here before, but where was here? She looked up at the filthy chandelier and then at a table covered in potions and odd books. One of them she could clearly see was bound with what looked like human skin. She fought a wave of revulsion.

  “We’re inside Baba Yaga’s house,” Sabrina croaked.

  “What?” Daphne said groggily. The little girl was lying right next to Sabrina. “I was having a dream about ice cream.”

  “Do you know how we got here?” Sabrina asked.

  Daphne shook her head.

  “It’s really freaky,” a voice said from behind them. Sabrina spun around to find the grown-up fairy sitting on a chair, watching over them. “When is your birthday?”

  “It’s in two days,” Sabrina replied suspiciously. “I’ll be twelve.”

  Just then, the warrior sisters entered the room. Sabrina studied them, noticing the scar that ran along the dark-haired woman’s face. It started at the bottom of her earlobe and ran down to just below her chin. It was an ugly wound and from what Sabrina could tell, fairly fresh.

  “I don’t remember this happening,” the fairy said to the women. “But then again, you two were always running off on your own back then. Did it happen and you just didn’t tell me?”

  The blond woman shook her head. “This definitely did not happen.”

  “It appears as if the phenomenon has occurred again,” the woman with the scar replied.

  “What are you talking about?” Sabrina demanded. “What phenomenon?”

  “We should take them to William,” the dark-haired woman said, ignoring Sabrina’s questions.

  “We should take them as far away from here as possible,” her sister argued. “Who knows what could happen if they got hurt.”

  “You need to take us home,” Sabrina interrupted. “Everything has gone crazy. The town is in ruins, there are dragons flying around, and Mr. Canis has lost control of himself. I know he looks like a monster, but that thing you were fighting is our friend.”

  The brown-haired woman’s face looked tense. “That creature is no one’s friend,” she said sternly. “We barely got away with our lives.”

  “You don’t understand,” Sabrina argued. “My family can help. We fix problems all the time. You need to let us go home.”

  “I’m afraid we can’t do that,” the blond woman said.

  “Oh yeah? Who do you think you are, kidnapping us?”

  The blond woman reached out for a handshake. “My name is Sabrina Grimm. This is my sister, Daphne Grimm, and my husband, Puck.”

  Sabrina and Daphne stared at them.

  “You people are nutballs!” Sabrina cried.

  “Mucho nutballs-o!”

  The woman claiming to be Daphne ignored the insult. “House, head for the mountains!” she shouted, and the house made an abrupt turn, jostling the girls until they both fell to the floor. If there had been any lingering doubt in Sabrina’s mind that they were in Baba Yaga’s home, it was now gone.

  The blond woman who called herself Sabrina helped Sabrina and Daphne back to their feet. “I’m guessing that you’re pretty confused, but we’ll sort this out as soon as we get back to the camp.”

  “What camp?”

  Again, their questions were ignored and the house marched on, thumping and bouncing with every step. Sabrina couldn’t be sure, but she felt as if it might be running at a full sprint.

  The camp was really a fortress surrounded by high walls made of logs. It was built in the shape of a square, with four tall towers at each corner. The towers had lookouts and each was equipped with a large cannonlike weapon that had water dripping from its barrel. Long hoses ran out of the back of the weapons and down the inside of the walls. Sabrina watched from a window of Baba Yaga’s house as an immense gate swung open to allow them to enter the compound. Once the witch’s house was inside, the gate was closed again and then reinforced with beams to prevent it from being opened from outside.

  Inside stood a dozen tiny cabins made from stones, a small farm, a pen for cattle and chickens, and what looked like an elaborate obstacle course. Men and women rushed through it while a small man barked orders at them.

  The house trotted over to a well and awkwardly dropped to the ground. Sabrina noticed the long tubes attached to the cannons ran down into the well, and she understood that the weapons in the towers shot water, probably at approaching dragons.

  A moment later, the fairy who claimed to be Puck opened the door. Waiting outside was an elderly man wearing what appeared to be a burlap sack he had fashioned into a shirt and pants.

  “How goes it, Faithful John?” the fairy asked, taking the man’s hand and shaking it vigorously.

  “All is
quiet, so all is good,” the man said with a smile.

  “Where’s William?” the woman with the scar asked as she stepped outside.

  “He’s on patrol but should be back soon,” Faithful John replied. Just then, there was a loud trumpeting. “I guess that’s him.”

  The doors swung open once more and a great white horse charged through. A rugged man, dressed in purple slacks and a white shirt, sat atop the horse. His hair was long and dark and he held a sword in one hand and the horse’s reins in the other. Sabrina and Daphne had to jump out of the horse’s path for fear of being trampled.

  “The Hand has a platoon of card soldiers by the river!” the man shouted. “Tell the general that we might be able to attack at dusk.”

  Faithful John nodded and raced toward a tent on the other side of the camp.

  As for the man on the horse, he leaped off while the great doors of the camp were once again secured. Sabrina took a closer look at him. He was shockingly handsome, despite his unkempt beard, long hair, and filthy clothing. There was also something very familiar about him, though she couldn’t be sure just what.

  The man sensed her looking and turned and stared at the girls for a long moment. Then, without warning, he wrapped them up in his arms and cried with happiness.

  “Girls! How did you get here?”

  Sabrina pulled herself away. “Uh, hello, personal space!”

  “It’s me. Prince Charming!”

  “Nuh-uh,” Daphne said, but Sabrina wasn’t so sure. She studied his face using her imagination to cut his hair and shave his beard. It didn’t make sense, but soon it was clear that the man was telling the truth.

  “Where did you come from?” he asked, reaching out and shaking them happily.

  “We were out in the woods with Mr. Canis and—”

  “Canis! Is he here too?” the prince said hopefully. Sabrina had never heard Charming speak of their family friend with anything but disdain.

  “You have to help us,” Sabrina said, struggling to believe that she was asking the notoriously grouchy prince for his assistance. “These freaks kidnapped us before I could warn Granny and Uncle Jake about what is going on.”

  “Yeah, the town has gone mucho crazy-o!” Daphne said.

  The former mayor’s face sank. “No. No! No! No!” he said as he shook his head.

  “Charming, we have to do something. Mr. Canis has turned into the Big Bad Wolf and there are dragons everywhere. The whole town is in danger.”

  “You don’t have to worry about Mr. Canis. Everyone’s better off where they are,” Charming said as he ran his hand through his dusty hair. “In the past.”

  “Not you, too!” Sabrina groaned. “I’ve had it with this practical joke. What do you want me to say? I believe you? You’ve fooled me? Well, forget it. It takes a lot to pull a prank on me.”

  “It’s not a prank,” the blond warrior said. “Ferryport Landing has been like this for almost fifteen years.”

  “That’s impossible!” Sabrina exclaimed as she felt her sister slip her hand into her own and squeeze tightly.

  “Sabrina,” the woman continued. “I’m you. I’m twenty-six years old. In two days I’ll be twenty-seven.” She turned to the dark-haired woman she called her sister. “And this is Daphne.”

  Sabrina studied their faces. She had to admit the dark-haired woman did look like Daphne, but without all the light and happiness of her sister’s face.

  “And I’m Puck,” the fairy said. His big pink wings popped out of his back and lifted him several feet off the ground. He put his hands on his hips and grinned broadly. “Taa-daa!”

  “Now I know this is a joke,” Sabrina said, spinning on the fairy. “Everafters don’t grow old.”

  “Not true, Sabrina. An Everafter can grow old if he wants. Most don’t because they don’t have a good reason,” Puck said, sharing an affectionate look with the woman claiming to be Sabrina. The fairy had a gold ring on his left hand that was identical to one the older Sabrina wore.

  Daphne squealed. “You mean . . . you and Puck . . . really . . . married!”

  The older Sabrina grinned bashfully, then looked at the fairy. “He gets a little less annoying as he gets older.”

  “But only a little,” the fairy said with a laugh. He rubbed the top of Sabrina’s head. “We should introduce our guests to the general.”

  They walked to a tent at the center of the camp. Charming pulled back the flaps and ushered the girls inside. The older versions of themselves and Puck followed. Inside, Sabrina saw a queen-size bed. Two adults lay on top of it, sound asleep.

  “Mom! Dad!” the girls cried, and rushed to their side.

  “They’re still asleep,” a voice said from behind them. It was old and crackling, but oddly familiar. Sabrina turned around and saw an old woman in a wheelchair in the door of the tent.

  “Girls, I’d like to introduce you to the general,” Charming said.

  Sabrina studied the woman closely. She wore a bright yellow dress and a matching hat with a sunflower appliqué at its center. Trotting around her chair were four Great Dane puppies. She was incredibly old, but her eyes still had a youthful glimmer.

  “Granny Relda!” Daphne cried as she raced across the room and wrapped the old woman in a hug. Sabrina followed more slowly, shocked at how old Granny looked.

  “There’s a name I haven’t heard in many years,” the old woman said. She studied the girls’ faces and then turned to their older counterparts with a confused expression.

  “It’s a long story, old lady,” Puck said.

  “Well, I suppose you better start telling it,” Granny replied.

  The group shared a meal of potatoes, venison, and black bread while the recent events were explained to the future version of Granny Relda. During the meal she studied maps and reports provided to her by soldiers who waited for her orders, then ran off to perform their duties. Sabrina watched the old woman closely, noticing the deep lines in her face and the trembling, arthritic hands.

  Some time during the meal, a little man wearing a crude military uniform emblazoned with dozens of bright badges and medals came over to the table. He was the same man they had spotted training soldiers. He saluted the old woman with great respect. They briefly discussed the forces at the riverside and agreed on the best strategy for attack. When the conversation was over, he saluted Granny Relda again and then disappeared. It took Sabrina several minutes to realize who he was.

  “That was Mr. Seven!” Daphne said.

  “Actually, we call him Captain Seven,” Granny Relda replied.

  “Captain Seven is a great leader and demands quite a bit of respect around here,” Charming explained. “He’s been responsible for many of our army’s successes.”

  “Why do you need an army?” Sabrina asked.

  “To fight the Scarlet Hand, of course,” Granny said as she tossed chunks of her dinner to her four impatient puppies. “Since the Master rose, we’ve been one of the main fronts in the battle for human freedom. There are other units scattered around the world, and I’ve been leading the charge. That’s how I got my little nickname. Truth is, without Seven and the brave members of the army we wouldn’t stand a chance. The Master and his Hand are relentless.”

  “But how did it get this bad?” Daphne asked as she glanced around at the rough camp.

  “They plundered the Hall of Wonders,” the grown-up Sabrina explained. “They opened every door and took anything of value. What they didn’t take, they set free. There were horrible things behind some of those doors. It threw the town into chaos.”

  She shared a knowing look with the old woman.

  “One of them tried to barbeque you earlier today,” Puck added.

  “Why didn’t we stop it from happening?” Sabrina wondered.

  “What were we supposed to do, Sabrina?” Granny Relda said, before breaking into a coughing fit. When she recovered, she continued. “What could an old woman and two little girls do?”

  “You’re f
orgetting Elvis,” Daphne said.

  “And we must not do that. He was a brave soul. These four pups are his great-grandchildren. Let me introduce you to John, Paul, George, and Ringo.”

  The dogs raced over to Daphne and sat with begging eyes until the girl surrendered her venison steak.

  “Yep, they’re related,” Daphne said as she hugged them all.

  “What about Uncle Jake?”

  The old woman shifted sadly in her chair.

  “He was arrested and put into the Ferryport Prison,” she said softly. “They gave him a trial and sentenced him to life, but he tried to escape and he was killed.”

  “I saw it!” Sabrina cried. “I saw that happen outside our window. He was shot with an arrow.”

  Granny Relda shared a confused expression with the older women and Puck. “I don’t remember that happening.”

  “I certainly don’t remember it,” the grown-up Sabrina replied. “How can these things have occurred in the past but we don’t remember them? Our Prince Charming didn’t disappear. I never saw Uncle Jake murdered when I was young. We didn’t just pop up in the future, either.”

  “How long have you been here?” Charming asked the girls.

  “A couple of hours,” Sabrina said. “What about you?”

  “Three months.”

  “So, you’re not a future version of Prince Charming?” Sabrina asked, doing her best to understand all the new information.

  “No, I’m from the past—I mean, the present . . . it’s all still very confusing. I went for a walk after I lost the election to the Queen of Hearts. I wanted to clear my head, think of a way to change my fortunes, and then I found myself here. It took me several hours to figure out that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. It appears the same thing has happened to the two of you.”

  The older Daphne shook her head. “Something is happening back then that shouldn’t have happened,” she said. “We believe it’s creating tears in time.”

  “Tears in time?” Daphne asked.

  “Yes, they’re doorways that suck people out of their time. They’re not supposed to be possible, but whatever or whoever is causing them is somehow blending their future and our present.”